Distancing yourself from people may feel like it’s working. Short-term that is.

Jordan I’m sorry, you were right. I don’t have enough guts to say it to you directly. Jordan you were right okay? This was stupid, I stand by most things I say but I’m admitting that was wrong. Why distance myself from people when I know, eventually, inevitably, I’ll just ache and hunt for more of them.

Jordan you helped me when I needed it most, I’ve never been so weak, and pathetic, and vulnerable before and you somehow said the right things and made everything a little bit better.

Jordan, I really do hate to admit it, but I guess, sometimes you are right.

But don’t expect me to say that again!

I’m going to take your advice by the way, the advice you gave me last night, I’m also going to take all the advice you’ve given me in the past, because you are one of the very few people that waste their time giving me advice.

Sometimes I feel like I was built to be broken. That’s alright though, I think slowly I’m understanding the fact that, pain is not something I can hide from. I’ve tried that, it didn’t work. I might as well just embrace all this stupid emotions I have before it’s too late. You made me see that, even if it took alot to get me there. You did something amazing for me.

Life just has a natural course it has to follow, sometimes no amount of intervening can alter that. And who am I to try and stop the natural flow of things. I don’t like some things, I don’t like the way life has batted me around from one side of happiness to the other side of desperation. But now I’m just learning to roll with the blows and deal with it. Do what I can in the moment. Say what I can in the moment. Spit words out and then turn around with no regrets. I’m going to start living like that. That is, largely in part, because of you.